Well the time had finally come. My wife’s leave from work was over. When it was just Ashley and I the nights went very smoothly. Ashley has always been (for the most part) an excellent sleeper which made things fairly easy. Jake on the other hand is a bit different, some nights are good, others are not. I didn't know what to expect from both of them here with me all by my lonesome. Ready or not, the time has come.
Things went well for all of 15 minutes. Jake decided to have a complete meltdown. I tried to remember what I had learned by watching my wife for the past three months during meltdowns. The initials HPT came to mind: Hungry, Poopy, Tired. Well he had just eaten not that long ago, so cross of H. A quick diaper change took care of P. I felt like a paramedic assessing a trauma patient. That left T. I find him his nook and try snuggling him in to sleep. This only made him cry harder. At this point Ashley decided to meltdown as well. I asked her what was wrong. She said "You can't get mad at Jake". I explained to her that I wasn't mad at anyone, yet. She didn't believe me, and yelled louder, which made Jake yell louder. Twenty minutes into the night and I need a drink. As it turned out if I had started the meltdown assessment with the H all chaos could have been avoided. Apparently he was hungry again. Round one to the kids.
I gave Jake some food and life was good once again, until mother nature decided I didn't have enough on my plate. No, no, no to add to the enjoyment of the evening how about a bit of severe weather coming our way. I had just warmed a bottle for Jake, gotten Ashley into her pajamas when the power went out with an extremely loud crack of thunder. Thanks to the noise of the thunder both kids were once again in full meltdown mode. This time with no lights on. I found the flashlight/weather radio. This flashlight has more buttons and gadgets than I am familiar with. I ended up turning on the strobe light along with the siren. Smooth move dad. When does mom come home? I turned on the radio just in time to hear "...if you are in any of these areas, take cover immediately..." I figure we should hit the basement. I put Ashley on the leash, (just kidding) and off we go. I forgot to grab Jakes bottle on the way down so he started yelling once again. I had found another flashlight in the basement so we actually had quite a bit of light. I told Ashley to stay put while I grab Jake his bottle. I was gone for ten seconds when I get back in the basement Ashley is gone. The leash idea is sounding better and better. I hear movement in the next room. I then hear a crash and crying. Well at least I know where she is. Turns out Ashley thought it would be fun to crawl into one of the totes sitting out in the laundry room but failed to comprehend the fact that it is pitch dark in the room and missed the tote and hit her head on the side. I looked her over and there was no blood. No harm no foul. I fed Jake and things were quiet once again. Bartender may I have another....and make it a double. Round two to mother nature.
We were all just waiting for the storm to blow over when the smell came. I take a whiff of Jake's butt, yup, there it is. I look outside and things didn't look good. The radio was saying people were seeing funnel clouds all over our area, we were not going upstairs anytime soon. I didn't think to bring diapers down with us. We were going to ride out the storm trapped with the smell. To make things worse Ashley decided it was a good time to poop as well. No power, tornados, and two stinky kids. What chapter covered this in the parent handbook? Finally the weather passed and we were able to go upstairs once again. Power was still out so changing two poopy kids by flashlight was a new experience. Another skill to add to the resume.
The rest of the night went well. Both kids slept well and the power eventually came back on. I for one didn't get a whole lot of sleep, Jake was up a few hours later and wanting to eat again. He then decided it was playtime and not sleep time. How could I be mad? You can't help but smile when he smiles. So with the exception of no sleep, I and more importantly the kids, made it through our night alone without harm. Final round to dad.
Things went well for all of 15 minutes. Jake decided to have a complete meltdown. I tried to remember what I had learned by watching my wife for the past three months during meltdowns. The initials HPT came to mind: Hungry, Poopy, Tired. Well he had just eaten not that long ago, so cross of H. A quick diaper change took care of P. I felt like a paramedic assessing a trauma patient. That left T. I find him his nook and try snuggling him in to sleep. This only made him cry harder. At this point Ashley decided to meltdown as well. I asked her what was wrong. She said "You can't get mad at Jake". I explained to her that I wasn't mad at anyone, yet. She didn't believe me, and yelled louder, which made Jake yell louder. Twenty minutes into the night and I need a drink. As it turned out if I had started the meltdown assessment with the H all chaos could have been avoided. Apparently he was hungry again. Round one to the kids.
I gave Jake some food and life was good once again, until mother nature decided I didn't have enough on my plate. No, no, no to add to the enjoyment of the evening how about a bit of severe weather coming our way. I had just warmed a bottle for Jake, gotten Ashley into her pajamas when the power went out with an extremely loud crack of thunder. Thanks to the noise of the thunder both kids were once again in full meltdown mode. This time with no lights on. I found the flashlight/weather radio. This flashlight has more buttons and gadgets than I am familiar with. I ended up turning on the strobe light along with the siren. Smooth move dad. When does mom come home? I turned on the radio just in time to hear "...if you are in any of these areas, take cover immediately..." I figure we should hit the basement. I put Ashley on the leash, (just kidding) and off we go. I forgot to grab Jakes bottle on the way down so he started yelling once again. I had found another flashlight in the basement so we actually had quite a bit of light. I told Ashley to stay put while I grab Jake his bottle. I was gone for ten seconds when I get back in the basement Ashley is gone. The leash idea is sounding better and better. I hear movement in the next room. I then hear a crash and crying. Well at least I know where she is. Turns out Ashley thought it would be fun to crawl into one of the totes sitting out in the laundry room but failed to comprehend the fact that it is pitch dark in the room and missed the tote and hit her head on the side. I looked her over and there was no blood. No harm no foul. I fed Jake and things were quiet once again. Bartender may I have another....and make it a double. Round two to mother nature.
We were all just waiting for the storm to blow over when the smell came. I take a whiff of Jake's butt, yup, there it is. I look outside and things didn't look good. The radio was saying people were seeing funnel clouds all over our area, we were not going upstairs anytime soon. I didn't think to bring diapers down with us. We were going to ride out the storm trapped with the smell. To make things worse Ashley decided it was a good time to poop as well. No power, tornados, and two stinky kids. What chapter covered this in the parent handbook? Finally the weather passed and we were able to go upstairs once again. Power was still out so changing two poopy kids by flashlight was a new experience. Another skill to add to the resume.
The rest of the night went well. Both kids slept well and the power eventually came back on. I for one didn't get a whole lot of sleep, Jake was up a few hours later and wanting to eat again. He then decided it was playtime and not sleep time. How could I be mad? You can't help but smile when he smiles. So with the exception of no sleep, I and more importantly the kids, made it through our night alone without harm. Final round to dad.
2 comments:
Matt
This is so funny. I can just see you trying to change a diaper in the dark, and what do you mean Ashley had a melt down....not my angel niece. She is to sweet for that:)
If I ever get the video camera charged up....(I think Ashley hid the power cord)....I will video tape your angel of a niece....you will see that she is actually the spawn of the devil :)
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