I recently became a father again. Once again I am learning to do things all over again. When my daughter was born two years ago I had little to no "baby" experience. I had no idea how to change her diaper, or how to get clothes on her. Anyone with a newborn knows what I mean, its like trying to dress Gumby. I was afraid I would somehow break her. I was convinced I would drop her and leave her impaired for life. I'm sorry honey, I know you drool when you talk, daddy dropped you on your head when you were young. Please forgive me.
Over time these fears and shortcomings I had subsided. As she grew I became more comfortable being a father. Diaper changes no longer were an adventure and I could dress her all by myself. My wife even left her alone with me from time to time. I am still convinced she had a secret spy that kept an eye on me. All and all life was good, we had a routine and we were good at the routine. Life was good. So good in fact we thought we might as well have another child. The first one was still breathing so what the heck.
About this time I stopped working full time so we would have no need for daycare. My wife has an excellent job so this just made sense. So for the past six months I have been a house-husband, and not a very good one at that. Really? We have laundry to do? Didn't we just do that like two weeks ago? There is a new household rule: You wear it until it smells. If I can't smell it when I walk into the room, its wearable. My daughter has really taken to this new clothes policy, my wife on the other hand is resisting. She insists on wearing clean clothes, I will break her.
We were just getting into the swing of this new lifestyle when my son was born. This time I was not worried at all, I was a pro at this. Its amazing how much I have forgotten in two short years. The first time I went to put clothes on him I asked him to put his arm into the arm hole. He just looked at me like I was crazy. I finally got his little Gumby body into his clothes when he had what can only be described as a stink bomb go off in his diaper. So off with the clothes to change the diaper. Lets just say changing boys and changing girls are totally different tasks. In the two years of changing my daughter she had plenty of accidents with no diaper on. No big deal, since girls pee goes down her diaper would catch it. Get a clean diaper and move on. All was going well, the old diaper was off of my son, the smell was gone, his butt was clean. Time to put on the new diaper. Next thing I know pee is shooting everywhere. All over his clothes, all over his blankets, everywhere. My first reaction was to save myself and take cover. Every man, woman, and child for themselves. Luckily the attack didn't last long. I looked at my wife and asked for help. She told me no, you need to learn to be quicker and left the room. Yes dear. By the way, your clothes smell clean, you can wear that again.
I am happy to report that both my son and my daughter are still breathing. I have not broke them as of yet. I am getting used to Gumby once again and my record times for diaper changing is broken almost daily. If I get the right offer I might just turn pro, but for now I am keeping my amature status. My daughter defiantly has her moments. The terrible twos are terrible for a reason. Will she ever stop talking?? My son is only a few weeks old and for the most part he is sleeping or eating. There is plenty of chaos going on here at home throughout the day. There are times when I feel like my life is all about the next feeding or diaper change. Then my daughter will come up and give me a hug and kiss for no apparent reason and it is all worth it. Off to do laundry, I have been out of underwear for two days.
Over time these fears and shortcomings I had subsided. As she grew I became more comfortable being a father. Diaper changes no longer were an adventure and I could dress her all by myself. My wife even left her alone with me from time to time. I am still convinced she had a secret spy that kept an eye on me. All and all life was good, we had a routine and we were good at the routine. Life was good. So good in fact we thought we might as well have another child. The first one was still breathing so what the heck.
About this time I stopped working full time so we would have no need for daycare. My wife has an excellent job so this just made sense. So for the past six months I have been a house-husband, and not a very good one at that. Really? We have laundry to do? Didn't we just do that like two weeks ago? There is a new household rule: You wear it until it smells. If I can't smell it when I walk into the room, its wearable. My daughter has really taken to this new clothes policy, my wife on the other hand is resisting. She insists on wearing clean clothes, I will break her.
We were just getting into the swing of this new lifestyle when my son was born. This time I was not worried at all, I was a pro at this. Its amazing how much I have forgotten in two short years. The first time I went to put clothes on him I asked him to put his arm into the arm hole. He just looked at me like I was crazy. I finally got his little Gumby body into his clothes when he had what can only be described as a stink bomb go off in his diaper. So off with the clothes to change the diaper. Lets just say changing boys and changing girls are totally different tasks. In the two years of changing my daughter she had plenty of accidents with no diaper on. No big deal, since girls pee goes down her diaper would catch it. Get a clean diaper and move on. All was going well, the old diaper was off of my son, the smell was gone, his butt was clean. Time to put on the new diaper. Next thing I know pee is shooting everywhere. All over his clothes, all over his blankets, everywhere. My first reaction was to save myself and take cover. Every man, woman, and child for themselves. Luckily the attack didn't last long. I looked at my wife and asked for help. She told me no, you need to learn to be quicker and left the room. Yes dear. By the way, your clothes smell clean, you can wear that again.
I am happy to report that both my son and my daughter are still breathing. I have not broke them as of yet. I am getting used to Gumby once again and my record times for diaper changing is broken almost daily. If I get the right offer I might just turn pro, but for now I am keeping my amature status. My daughter defiantly has her moments. The terrible twos are terrible for a reason. Will she ever stop talking?? My son is only a few weeks old and for the most part he is sleeping or eating. There is plenty of chaos going on here at home throughout the day. There are times when I feel like my life is all about the next feeding or diaper change. Then my daughter will come up and give me a hug and kiss for no apparent reason and it is all worth it. Off to do laundry, I have been out of underwear for two days.
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